Thanksgiving Eve

So, having tasted at least a dozen Irish whiskeys tonight, I can reveal the appeal of this drink: it makes you give less than zero of a fuck. As in negative fuck. If somebody said "how much of a fuck do you give after drinking that?" I would say "a negative amount". It's amazing *slurp* because it tastes good and you get used to it, and it makes everything hilarious. Except sex. Oh yeah, forgot to mention that if you're planning on achieving an erection the same night as you get fucked up on whiskey, it's probably a bad idea and you should choose vodka or some other appalling shit. For most people. As in, Victoria's Secret model straddIng you and......nothing. Has embarrassed me a few times, and they never accept that excuse. "ooooh I was drinking whiskey all night". Nah. Has lost me at least one girl. She was German, and hot. Shame. Oops. Etc. Fuck it. I still like Jameson and ginger. Night after thanksgiving I'm getting proper fucked. I'll let you know how what I drink goes down. Pron wont meet her that night. Bitch. Not the German, someone else. God I love/hate women. Never mind, another lined up that's prob sexier. If she burns me I'm fucked tho. Uh oh. Anyway, laters.